Not every acquaintance is a friend!


DISCLAIMER – Those who haven’t gone through my previous write-up might find it difficult to understand the context of this post. So I urge you to read my previous post before proceeding further.

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The one who helps you in your hour of need is your friend. The one who always has his/her ears for you is your friend. The one whom you can call at any hour of the day or night is your friend. Is it really so? What a real friend is?

Since we were children, we had this picture of a The Friend in our mind, which leads us to disappointment when we grow up. Growing up changes everything ranging from our thoughts to our perspectives about life, career, people and even friends.
After coming back from her home, Pooja went to Snehal’s room to share the sweets she had brought. It had been ten days since that incident, and Snehal had not given it much of a thought in last few days. But the moment she saw Pooja, all her feelings of dismay and let down came flooding in, and she couldn’t resist herself to ask Pooja why she did that.

“What are you talking about Snehal?”

“How do you always find one way or the other to make me re-think about my friendship with you?”

A baffled Pooja couldn’t understand what Snehal was talking about because she had usually not paid much heed to Snehal’s emotions; a completely unintentional gesture from her side. But was Pooja really selfish? Was she really heartless?


The day came when Snehal had to deliver her speech. She went to the front of the lectern, took out the paper from her pocket to put on the wooden surface of lectern; she adjusted the mic and cleared her throat.

Good morning everybody. Today I am going to celebrate friendship with you all. A celebration in my language.

Among all our relations, friendship is the only relation which is free of obligations and restrictions; we come to realize this more and more as we enter in our young adulthood. Unlike our romantic relationship, we are not bound to meet or call our friend daily. Or unlike our family bonds, we are not bound to obey any rules (if any) created by our parents or any other family member. But friendship – it is the only bond which lets us breathe the air we want to, do what we want to. We are as free as a bird is in that open, boundary less sky.
But maybe it is this freedom only which makes us take our friendships for granted. We rarely understand the rationale behind this freedom and thus most of the times we fail;  fail our friends and their expectations.

Yes, there are certain expectancy levels in a footloose relation of friendship too.
With age our expectations from our friends don’t change, but the degree of those expectations does change. We still feel that our friends should be by our side when we need their help, but now our friends help us only when we actually need help. It might seem unfortunate but that is the truth.
As we head towards the higher stages of adulthood, the meaning of friendship changes for us because our priorities change, for better or maybe for worse but these priorities – they are bound to change.

I read somewhere, maybe a survey, that in Mature friendships which are from twelve years onward, the relation becomes more about trust and support. But what I feel is as we grow up lot of more emotions like jealousy, competitiveness, envy also land in one’s friendship, and makes it more complex not in a good way. The most innocent and pure friendships are developed in childhood or younger ages and  are sustained if nurtured and cherished throughout.

As you grow up, lot of external factors affect your friendship. In college, it can be scoring better than your fellows; in office it can be getting more promotions and higher appraisals than others; it can be the desire of having the same boyfriend/ girlfriend as your friend has; it can be to look prettier or smarter than your friend. I mean there are numerous bad blooded elements which can give a could-be beautiful friendship an ugly turn. Maturity has its own drawbacks.

Wherever you go, you will meet new people and so the new bonds will develop too. But don’t expect the same from them what you do expect from your friend for last eight or ten years or even childhood. In fact, don’t expect anything from your new bond because they are not even your friends yet.

It’s not only the word ‘love’ which is used way more casually but the word ‘friend’ too has lost its real meaning and is often confused with the word ‘acquaintance’.

And this, I am sure you all adults have realized by now or will realize due course.

To end up with I’d say, sometimes your friend might hurt you in the ways which even he/she is not aware of. Don’t keep it within yourself. Clear it out and you never know that he/she might turn out to be your BFF-Best Friend Forever. 

Thank you!

Thunder of claps and a confused Snehal got down of the podium. Many of her friends batch-mates congratulated her on making them contemplate over the word ‘Friend’.

“This was not what I had written. Only the introductory lines were mine. Where did my speech go.” Snehal started rummaging her bag when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Pooja standing behind her with apologetic eyes, which was tough for Snehal to observe under present circumstances. Pooja hugged her. Poor Snehal couldn’t understand the curvy balls that life had been throwing at her since that morning.

Pooja realized what Snehal was talking about that day. But never did she tell Snehal that it was she who had replaced Snehal’s speech with hers. Snehal never got to hear the silent apology of Pooja which she had shouted aloud in that speech.

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P.S. – It’s not impossible to sow the seeds of friendship in adulthood. But it becomes tougher to differentiate between a friend and an adversary in a friend’s veneer.

                        No credits for images used.
Copyright © 2016 by Idle Muser. All rights reserved.

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46 Comments Add yours

  1. Thank you for making us contemplate over what a friend should really be 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Idle Muser says:

      😃
      Mission accomplished if I could. Thanks Pradita for reading!☺

      Liked by 1 person

  2. prashantt says:

    Haha..lol! I like the disclaimer specially(writeup is always beautiful😛) There is something great about your writeups that is value of friendship via your experiences on it.We are loosing the essence of this sweet relationship like that of other relations.
    Have a great day ahead! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Idle Muser says:

      😀 Thank you Prashantt! 🙂
      Disclaimer was just a hint to readers what difficulty they can face in understanding the context of this post if they don’t now about the previous one. 😉
      Stories based on my experience, on others’ experience, and some not yet experienced by any. 😉
      You too have a great day! 🙂

      Like

  3. This post is true. It isn’t easy at all to know who is a real friend or not. Some people just want to be our friend because of money, bets, popularity etc… I am so glad I learnt this lesson before 😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Idle Muser says:

      I am glad you did. 🙂
      Friends are for life, but not all of them are, and sometimes not even all of them are even our friends. It’s for best if one can figure out his real friends at the right time.
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are completely right! It is a difficult task to discover who is our friend or not, but when we know that our friend isn’t really for us we should act on it, not keep it all bottled up!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Old friendship is like well-matured wine. The older the better. Some lasting friendship can grow through acquaintances, but that’s an exception.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Exactly Jacqueline.
      You summed up everything that this post is about. 🙂

      Like

  5. RM Saravanan says:

    I loved both the characters – Pooja & Snehal. All of us might have been Pooja or Snehal at different times. I understood how the other might feel. Good Aditi. Great going.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Thank you so much Sir. 🙂
      None is good all the times nor bad. It’s all about the phases and situations.

      Like

  6. sudershana says:

    Old friends are like alphabets and new friends are like poem, don’t forget your old friends as you always need alphabets to read poems. A great post it is. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Thank you Sudershana.😊
      Absolutely.
      It is said for some reason – Old is gold (though not everything old😁).
      One shouldn’t jump onto poems directly slurring over the revision of alphabets.
      Even if you can’t have the pleasure of enjoying poetry, you at least know the alphabets; you are not illiterate.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. sudershana says:

        Absolutely correct! I enjoy connected with the person that I can actually relate with! Thanks to you. Hope this is the first step in the ladder of our friendship. 💓💓

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Idle Muser says:

          Hoping for the same. ❤ 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  7. Sasha says:

    I have visited those blogs and they are amazing.Apeksa’s blog especially..love her writings!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Oh that’s great. Yes hers is adorable!😊

      Liked by 2 people

  8. I enjoyed reading both posts. I have experienced many difficulties establishing genuine friendships with others.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Thanks girl.😊
      There definitely are difficulties in realizing and identifying the real friendship. It comes in the same cocoon as any other friendship but the butterfly that arises from that cocoon is different from all.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Oh well that was pretty straight-forward. 😀
      But no worries I went through it, and it seems there is some issue with your blog. It is not displaying content on any of the pages except the ‘About’ page. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Neal says:

    Damn !! Wasn’t expecting that twist in the story. Amazing portrayal of friendship in words 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Thank you so much Neal. 🙂

      Like

  10. kratzworld says:

    love the way you write aditi.. 🙂 I see a novelist in making

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Oooo..That’s quite huge to take.
      Thank you so much girl. 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. kratzworld says:

        hey.. keep writing 🙂 and the pleasure is all mine… 🙂 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  11. Excellent! 💯💯💯

    Liked by 2 people

  12. chahnaahuja says:

    this story is really heart- touching Aditi… thank you for sharing it with us

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      I am glad if it touched your heart.
      Thanks to you for reading it Chahna. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. chahnaahuja says:

        I must thank you for sharing it with us, dear..

        Liked by 2 people

  13. mihrank says:

    this is such powerful, detailed and true…bravo!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Unfortunately this is the ultimate truth.
      Thank you for going through it. 🙂

      Like

  14. Wow How sweet of Pooja ?
    And its True, you can never expect your new friends to be as Committed and Loyal to you as your Old Bestie Friend.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      Only few are like Pooja who realize things, and very few who actually make efforts in making up for them.
      Thanks for reading it. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  15. Simon says:

    This is so true, especially in work with ambitious agendas.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      A definite Yes Simon.
      Our goals make us alive but at times drift us apart from our dear ones too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Simon says:

        This is all very true…

        Liked by 2 people

  16. wish 93 says:

    Wow, I really love this post…. Totally true. Been there. It feels as if these words are mine.. I had such friends who basically envied and bullied me. Without even realizing how many times I have given my work to them for free, and even paid for their stuff without them knowing. It is true, as we grow up, people become selfish and heartless. They are filled with jealousy and envy, they want to compete with their friends. New bonds are never complete, because they really don’t know the actual meaning of the word friendship.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      That’s the harsh reality girl. Though I am not happy that you did undergo such incidents as you described, but I guess this experience must have given you the insight to the relation called ‘friendship’ and you probably would be careful in your future relations.
      Some people really come in our lives to teach us few lessons which we might need in our future. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

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