Self-Love or Self-Obsession?


It’s only in recent times that loving self has been asked to be given the highest priority. We are told to love ourselves, to appreciate ourselves, to celebrate ourselves, to not demean ourselves. And I so much love this healthy ideology.

We live in a society that constantly tries to entrap us in its own ways of living; a living, where we, be it a boy or a girl, are supposed to look a particular way, feel a particular way, speak a particular way, walk a particular way, and, perhaps, even breathe a particular way. And, we, pity beings, often, submit to such ways; eventually losing our identity, losing ourselves.
So, what better way to escape this mousetrap than loving ourselves the way we are?

But, excess of love is suffocating too, isn’t it? In case of self-love, more than for oneself, it is to the people around us. Many of us, who love oneself, cross a fine line, and enter into the zone of self-obsession. And tragically, we never even realize it; and keep on mistaking this self-obsession with self-love.

Unknowingly, we get too much engrossed in ourselves, in taking care of ourselves, that in the process, we start dismissing our loved ones. We are so much into ourselves that we stop noticing our special ones’ efforts, if they are making any. This I’m talking about them getting all dressed up for us or something alike.
We, not often though, even start derogating others. Never realizing that, gradually, we too are turning into the same society that we, in the first place, wanted to escape from, that we did not want to be a part of.

Loving self is the very first step to understand love. Loving oneself is one of the healthiest forms of love too. Self-love is what we should promote wherever we go, but what else should be talked about alongside it is, how to not fall for the bait of deceptive self-obsession.

As I said in the picture too- it is a very fine line, which naked eyes are oblivious of, that separates self-love from self-obsession; if not observed carefully, this copious self-love can eventually turn you into an obnoxious self-obsessed being. And, I’m pretty sure, none of us want to be the one.

What do you think? Have you ever encountered any such being or incident where obsession was confused with love? Do share your thoughts and views. I’d love to hear them.


Copyright © 2018 by Idle Muser. All rights reserved.


5 Comments Add yours

  1. Ste J says:

    Many people seem to have that self obsession, like all those Instagram photos where there is a lovely view to be seen yet someone decides to stand in the middle of it for a photo, rather than at the side so we get to appreciate the scenery. It’s easier than ever to be self obsessed these days but it doesn’t get you as far in terms of people and real experiences.

    At the same time it is too easy not to appreciate one’s self either. I don’t know what the answer is to getting the balance. I just turn up to be honest and do my best.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      That balance, that is the key here, Steve, and a lot of us fail to achieve it.
      To know what counts as obsession and not love or vice-versa is far from easy, and I myself am not its master, so I often think if I contradict myself by saying to love oneself and to not too. It’s a tricky task.


      1. Ste J says:

        Perhaps the key is to focus on others more and the balance will follow. Or hide in a book and ignore the whole conundrum entirely.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Neal says:

    I think obsession of any kind has its roots in low self-esteem Aditi. We need something that we don’t have. As a result, we become obsessed. Obsession is a neurosis and it is detrimental to our well being. In acting obsessively we hinder our growth and that of our loved one and I get to see this kind of self obsession in majority these days. Love, on the other hand, encourages risk-taking and independence. In simple words, self love frees, obsession cages. Self love gives, obsession depletes. Obsession controls, self love lets go.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Idle Muser says:

      So absolutely true, Neal. I loved your ending sentences, not that the initial ones hadn’t had the same power, but last three hit the nail.

      As for being insecure and low self-esteem, I kind of agree with it too. But when I look into it, I realize that these insecurities are the corollaries of the society’s rules, prejudices and certain unnatural standards that are supposed to be adhered to in order to be considered “pretty”, or “beautiful”, or “manly”, or “smart”, or, perhaps, even a “human”. We, as a society, need to work in accord with each other, to survive this culture, and change it for the sake of our progenies. As these are the changes that consume decades to occur, and more to flourish.

      Thank you so much for sharing your views. They helped in giving this issue a wider perspective.
      And, as a lazy reader I am, I’m sure I’ve missed some amazing stuff of yours. Will catch-up it in sometime.🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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